


Sugar Rush

by mistilteinn



Series: At the end, you're not too bad [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Klaus is such a bitch you guys, M/M, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, but for real this is so cute, honestly diego is too, the only rating i understand is e for porn, this is rated m because i mentioned an erection once lol, we're all sinners here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 06:56:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18006020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistilteinn/pseuds/mistilteinn
Summary: And he’s interested in the conversation, he really is, but he’s a little distracted when Klaus fucking deepthroats his popsicle and starts choking.Just a fun little interlude in my "daddy kink" series. Short, sweet, and featuring the bratty Klaus that we all know and love.





	Sugar Rush

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt "what if the others were having an ice cream night out in the park, and Klaus (or Diego) make a ton of food-related innuendos to bother the other, but the others don't notice and keep making Klaus or Diego participate in family activities, so they can't sneak off"
> 
> huge thanks to Oxblood+Daisy for the prompt!! this was such a joy to write! 
> 
> (title from Mary by Big Thief aka a song i can't listen to without crying so i need to associate it with something happy)

It’s Thursday, which means that it’s time for Family Bonding. Diego knows that Klaus would rather chew off his own leg than voluntarily spend his evening with all of the siblings, but he also recognizes that hey, they had a really fucked up childhood, and maybe it’s not such a bad thing if they make an effort to right those wrongs one out of every seven days. So he makes an effort to go, and he makes sure that Klaus goes with them.

Of course, Klaus takes that as a personal slight and has thus made it his mission to make Diego miserable for the entire duration, every single week. So far, Diego has had to punish him four out of the past five weeks for acting up. Squirrely bastard.

Right now they’re at an ice cream cart at the park, and everyone is ordering their food. Luther orders mint chocolate chip and strawberry in a waffle cone, unable to decide between being a freak and just being boring. Allison gets hers in a cup, so that she doesn’t spill anything on her fancy outfit. Vanya gets vanilla, because even though she turned out to have some pretty badass powers, she's still lame as hell. Five orders cheesecake ice cream since he’s a fucking heathen. Diego gets chocolate because he loves himself, and Klaus.

Well, Klaus orders a goddamn popsicle. From the moment he first licks the thing (his eyes roll back and he moans like a cheap whore), Diego knows there’s gonna be trouble. So he does his level best to ignore Klaus while he eats the popsicle like a damn maniac.

He’s talking to Vanya, asking her about her plans to start holding violin lessons in the house. It’s a great idea, and he privately thinks that he’d like to have kids running around the place (at least part of the time), but he’s having trouble ignoring Klaus’s theatrical licks and slurps on her other side.

“- so maybe I’ll just start with a couple of kids at a time, just a couple of days each week. Then, if everything goes well, maybe we could make it a whole thing. Do you think Mom would want to make food for them too?”

And not for the first time since they’ve started doing this, Diego is blown away by one of his siblings. Vanya is _smart,_ and kind, and she has a really great mind for this kind of stuff. Diego wishes that he’d been able to see it before she tried to blow up the world, but hey - everybody makes mistakes.

He enthusiastically responds (ignoring Klaus like a champion), “Yeah, Mom would love that! Maybe someday it could be like an after-school thing for kids who don’t have a place to go.”

And he’s interested in the conversation, he really is, but he’s a little distracted when Klaus fucking deepthroats his popsicle and starts choking. He steps around their sister and thumps Klaus between the shoulder blades, hard.

Eyes watery, Klaus smiles at him and speaks with a rough voice. “Guess I need some practice before trying that again, huh?”

Diego jerks his hand back from where it had been resting on Klaus’s shoulder, cheeks warming, and turns back to Vanya, who’s now signing something to Allison and making her laugh, shoulders shaking silently.

Five is looking at him oddly, but just shakes his head when he opens his mouth to ask, _what?_ So he rolls his eyes and turns to Luther. Good old oblivious Luther, who’s already almost finished with his ice cream.

Desperate to talk to anyone but Klaus, Diego says the first thing that comes to mind. “So where’s the next stop on our Family Fun Night?”

And, shit. Luther may be a pompous hardass with a superiority complex, but he’s still Diego’s brother and he loves him, and the way his face fucking lights up when someone expresses interest in his bonding activities (instead of just shitting on them like normal) makes Diego feel like maybe he does still need to work on being more considerate after all.

So he nods and plasters a smile on his face when Luther suggests a one night only carnival, the kind that sets up on the outskirts of town unexpectedly and then seems to vanish without a trace, the kind where no one really knows if they’re allowed to be there, or if the ride safety is up to date, and hey, what kind of oversight do those things get, anyway?

And if Diego has to be miserable, then Klaus is sure as hell gonna be miserable too, so he enthusiastically agrees, and now they’re all walking there. Five is a little annoyed, because he wanted to blink everyone there, but no one else really seems to like traveling through space like that (especially since Five still needs to “iron out some kinks - shut up, Klaus - with the equations for multi-personal traveling,” and no one wants to risk losing any body parts while he does).

So the walk takes forever and a half, though Diego is actually kind of enjoying it, is talking to Vanya and Allison and is keeping half an ear on Klaus, who’s talking to Five about a horrific experience he had at a waxing parlor (“ - and when I say hot wax, I’m not talking about the sexy stuff - I’m not into that anyway - though they _did_ offer to finish me off, and I _was_ pretty hard by the end of it - wait, am I into hot wax stuff?” “Jesus Christ, _please_ stop talking. I swear to God, if you _ever_ tell me a story like that again, I will time-travel back to when we were kids and throw away _all_ of your makeup.”)

So Diego’s smiling pretty hard by the time they get there, and even though he knows these rides haven’t been inspected in a while, the games are all rigged, and the food’s probably not legally allowed to be sold, it’s still pretty magical just to be there with the people he loves most in the world.

Until, of course, Klaus decides to fuck with him again. He’s whining to Luther about being hungry (“Uh, yeah, if you hadn’t choked on your popsicle and had to throw it away, you wouldn’t be starving,” Vanya helpfully points out, and Diego could hug her), and Luther eventually caves.

“What do you want?”

“Weeeeeeeell,” Klaus starts, and turns dark-rimmed eyes to Diego. “I could _really_ go for one of those monster hot dogs right now. Fill me up _real_ good.”

Fortunately, they can’t actually find any suitable hot dogs at the carnival (“That one’s too small - I need something _bigger_ ”), so Klaus finally settles on some cotton candy.

When their other siblings are distracted by a strongman game, Diego yanks Klaus away to hide behind a neighboring tent.

“What the _fuck_ are you _doing?_ ” He asks, completely calmly and reasonably, and not at all up in Klaus’s space.

And Klaus just shrugs at him,  big gray eyes round and innocent. “Just needed somethin’ to sink my teeth into,” he says, smiling sweetly.

Diego very maturely swipes the cotton candy (“HEY! That’s mine!”) and runs, sprinting away from Klaus and weaving through the different tents. He can hear Klaus behind him, bumping into different vendors and apologizing, and, shit - he forgot how fucking fast that kid is.

He’s circled back, is about to run by the ring toss they passed on their way to the cotton candy vendor, when Five appears in front of him in a flash of blue light. He’s looking predictably pissed, arms crossed and foot tapping, and Diego stumbles to avoid running him over. Klaus comes to a stop beside Diego, snatches at his remaining cotton candy before Diego slaps his hand away.

Five is glaring at them and speaks. “Are you two done acting like children? Because there are some rides I’d like to go on, and I’d appreciate if you could get a fucking hold of yourselves.”

Unphased, Klaus snarks back, “What, you need someone taller than forty-eight inches with ya so they let you on the big boy rides?”

Diego is both impressed and horrified by Klaus’s foolhardiness, and he steps between the two of them when Five’s eyes start shining dangerously. “Woah, woah, hey, hey, hey. Maybe we all just settle down, play bumper cars or something? Klaus, there’s plenty of time to annoy us all to death later, and Five, would you really want to murder someone with so many witnesses?”

Five mutters something about Archduke Franz Ferdinand and turns, stalking away, over to the section of the carnival with rides.

Diego looks over his shoulder at Klaus, whose lips curl in a mocking smile.

Diego just shakes his head at him. “You know, you really are a grade-A trash panda.”

Instead of looking offended, Klaus lifts his nose in the air and pulls him by the hand over to a slushie stall, insisting that “raccoons are some of the hardiest of North America’s mammals. They’re basically impossible to poison, so really, you’re complimenting me” - which, whatever.

Something about the way Klaus looks at him under the bright lights makes Diego soft, so he acquiesces and buys Klaus a cherry slushie, which he immediately regrets, as Klaus takes the opportunity to stain his entire mouth red. And Diego just wants to kiss him, to see if he tastes as sweet as he looks, but he can’t.

See, they’re pretty sure everyone knows that they’re together at this point, but they don’t really want to call attention to it yet. Right now, their relationship is still just theirs, so precious and still so new, and Diego fucking treasures that. So he laces their fingers together until they get back to the rest of the group, then regretfully drops Klaus’s hand.

Luther is, like always, making a game plan. So Diego, like always, chooses to ignore it, instead inviting Klaus along to the Ferris Wheel.

“Are you sure? It looks dangerous.” Allison signs at him, tilted smile on her face. “It might stop while you’re up there.”

And Diego knows that even though she can’t Rumor the operator into leaving them at the top for a few precious minutes of alone time, she can (and will) slip the worker a twenty to accomplish the same task. Damn, he really does love his siblings.

He toothily grins at her and pulls Klaus (who is now fussing about spilling slushie all over himself - shocker) along behind him, over to the line.

He pays their entry fee before turning to Klaus to acknowledge his struggle. And, wow. It really is all over him. “What the hell, man?” He asks, looking his brother up and down. (Still hot - definitely still hot.)

Klaus looks at him, moderately distressed, before trying to put a sexy face on. “Oopsie, I made a big mess,” he tries, and Diego shakes his head, tugging him down to sit in their seat on the wheel.

Klaus rolls his eyes and explains. “Ugh, okay. I was trying to do the Flashdance thing with my slushie, but you weren’t paying attention, and now I’m all sticky.” Klaus tries to pull their hands apart to illustrate as they slowly start to move. And yeah, they’re definitely sticky.

“God, you are the weirdest.” For a minute, Diego can’t believe he’s in love with this mess of a human, but then Klaus looks out at the city ahead of them when they’ve stopped, and _hey, isn’t that our house?_ and Diego remembers exactly why he loves Klaus so much.

So he _finally_ leans in, and Klaus tastes exactly how he imagined, sticky and sweet and so very _him,_ and it makes his heart hurt with how much he enjoys this, wants it all the time.

Klaus’s eyes are fluttering shut, and he’s winding his hands around Diego’s neck, pulling him closer and leaning back. So Diego follows and presses him against the metal side of their seat, running hands under his shirt, tracing imaginary tattoos all over his slim torso - _property of Diego._

Diego kisses him as if their lives depend on it, until the syrupy sweet taste fades and it’s all _Klaus, Klaus, Klaus._ And then he’s hot under his collar, so he moves to press soft kisses along Klaus’s jaw, and down to his neck, where he finds slushie residue, and what’s he supposed to do? _Not_ lick it off?

So Klaus is squirming, giggling, sighing as Diego sucks a red patch into his neck. And for all his talk about wanting to be discreet, Diego really doesn't care that their entire family will see it in just a couple minutes. Klaus doesn’t seem to mind either, if his hand squeezing Diego’s erection is anything to judge by.

Then he hears a curious sound behind him, and he turns to see Five in the seat with them, speaking excitedly. “So if I just blink up here, I get to see everything but I don’t have to pay the fare and - Christ, were you two making out?”

And Klaus, bless him, just shakes his head _no._ Eyes lidded, lips wet and swollen, and new hickey forming in plain view.

Then Five groans, throws his hands in the air, and fumes, “Not once - NOT ONCE - during my LITERAL DECADES of solitude did I imagine that you all would start fucking each other as soon as you hit adulthood!”

Then he sighs, leans forward against the rail, and speaks at a normal volume, glaring at both of them. “Well, I never thought I would actually be _grateful_ for the forty-five years I spent isolated in an apocalyptic wasteland, so thank you, I guess, for putting that into perspective for me.”

Diego can’t help but laugh, sugary sweet taste still on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> look not all of my stories can end in sex scenes okay
> 
> (sigh - the one that follows this one directly _is_ entirely porn though - i do have a reputation to earn)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed - leave a comment below if you think klaus needs to be punished for being a brat the entire night lmao
> 
> ** also please leave me a comment if you're interested in reading a Regency-type ABO Diego/Klaus fic. I've started one, but it's the first time i've ever written anything like this, and i'm not sure that anyone even wants it???


End file.
